Willsdean Sixth
Form have invited me to their summer Model United Nations debate, to
represent the great state of Belgium. And who should lie to my
Western flank but France...fronted by a certain raven-haired Goddess
of treachery.
Of course the idea
that Harriet could actually rise that far up the diplomatic career
ladder is absurd. I don't think that C grade in Politics Unit 3 would
sit well on the CV, dear. I recall how she would often get annoyed or
disinterested with me when I pointed out the gaping holes in her CV.
As if free career advice grew on trees! And yet I
still crave her... even if the French civil service rightly would
not.
I shall rule her
heart one day, just as the Merovingian kings of old ruled the
Frankish tribes that settled on my lowlands. As her boyfriend, I
shall combine the strength of Dagobert II with the quiet
philosophical nature of Chilperic I. I will defeat Chris, armed only
with my love and the Wikipedia entry for Belgium history.
Harriet's current
lover of choice has been assigned Luxembourg. Trade pacts
notwithstanding, I shall not stop until the sombre businessmen from
Oesling to the Gutland live in the shadow of nuclear ash.
And
like a wind shall I one day blow amongst them and with my spirit take
away their soul’s breath.
Wanks: 1 (have to
be careful – the thought of a Luxembourgian bank manager having his skin burnt off through radiation
shouldn't make me so horny).
